Wednesday, October 8, 2014

New Career for Marcel Hirscher and Max Franz?

A Boston Blickbild Exclusive
Marcel Hirscher, the overall Crystal Globe winner for the past three seasons, posted photos of himself doing acrobatic tricks with his teammate Max Franz. With the opening races in Soelden fast approaching, everyone else is writing about Lindsey Vonn back on skis again. But we wanted to avoid that story like we would a field full of poison ivy. Instead, one of our intrepid reporters was at Press Day with the Austrian Ski Team on the Moelltaler glacier. Our reporter scored an interview with both Marcel Hirscher and Max Franz. Let's find out what they have to say.
BB: Marcel, first of all, we want to wish you a belated congratulations on your third overall Crystal Globe in a row. That is an amazing achievement.
Hirscher: Thank you.
BB: Do you think you will make it four in a row?
Hirscher: I would like to, but there are a lot of guys who will make it tough. Aksel, Ted, and Alexis are worthy challengers and won't make it easy for me.
BB: You recently posted photos of yourselves balancing on each other and doing other circus tricks.
Franz: Yes. We were having some fun. The Austrian team is a very close group and we have a lot of good times together.
BB: Is there anything that our readers should know?
Franz: Like what?
BB: Are you two really planning to quit the team and join a circus?
Hirscher: The only circus we are planning to join is the White Circus.
BB: For our newer readers, the White Circus is the nickname for the World Cup tour. (short pause) You said that you are not planning to join a circus now. What about in the future?
Hirscher: I don't have any plans to join a circus after I retire from racing.
Franz: Neither do I.
BB: OK, so you don't plan to join a circus now or after you retire. Were you practicing a new routine to entertain the fans at the Soelden race weekend?
Hirscher: No. We we're not going to get ourselves injured before the season begins.
Franz: I think you're reading too much into a couple of guys having fun for the cameras.
BB: I don't think so. Our readers need to know what their favorite ski racers are doing at all times of the day and night. If you two suddenly decided to retire and become circus acrobats without telling your fans, that would be a disaster of epic proportions!
Hirscher: If we decide to become circus performers, either now or after we retire, your reporters would be the first to know. For now, we will remain ski racers.
BB: We are not just reporters. The Blickbild has the most intrepid reporters in the business.
Franz: Joining the circus would not be a disaster at all. Do you know what was really a disaster? Try getting stripped of an Olympic gold medal for something that your country's judges did. (see this story)
BB: Well, you did put your hand down, which was a major deduction.
Franz: But it was still a medal-worthy performance. No other racer did such original and graceful work on one ski on an Ante Kostelic course. The artistry bonus should have outweighed the hand touching the snow. I should also have received points for performing my moves on Ante's course, which was incredibly difficult.
BB: It appears that you are still not over the CAS ruling.
Franz: You go from being a gold medal winner and bringing glory to your nation to a pariah because you got stripped of that medal! I don't think that's something anyone can get over. I will have to try and forget it about it when the season starts, and carry on, but that will be hard to do. (starts to cry)
Hirscher: Now look what you did! You're even worse than that woman who made Bode Miller cry in Sochi.
BB: I'm sorry. Let's change the subject. What are your goals for this season?
Hirscher: Another overall globe would be nice, as well as small globes in slalom and GS. A medal or two in Vail would be great too.
Franz: To have a good season and hopefully win a medal in Vail and be able to keep it.
BB: I hope that both of you achieve your goals this season. Well--
Hirscher: Do you want to know the real reason why Max and I were doing acrobatic tricks?
BB: Of course. I have a responsibility to our readers to bring them the real story behind those photos.
Hirscher: Part of the CAS ruling was that there will not be any Austrian judges on artistry panels at ski races next season. If we Austrians fall or have a balance break in a race, we think that the other judges will automatically be against us. We don't want another one of our racers to get stripped of a medal or race win because of judging bias.
BB: But the high and low scores are thrown out, which helps to even out any possible bias.
Hirscher: In theory this is true and that system works most of the time. But we want to be prepared for what is coming this season.
Franz: By practicing acrobatic moves before the season starts, we are well prepared. We will know how to fall or lose our balance with originality and grace. We will have the highest artistry scores and bonuses this season. Just like nobody can match Austria in the Nations Cup standings, we will crush everyone else with our artistry scores.
Hirscher: We also heard that the FIS is replacing the super-combined globe with an artistry globe. The racer with the most artistic impression points in a season will win that globe. Of course we want an Austrian to win the artistry globe.
BB: Can you tell our readers what kinds of moves you're working on?
Hirscher: I don't want to give away too many secrets. But one of the moves involves a flip in the air before falling and landing on our skis. I was practicing back flips by standing on Max's legs. We really wanted to have Max ski with me balanced on his legs and then I would do a back flip off and land perfectly into my skis. That would have been a new and original move which would have earned a huge originality bonus and a gold medal in Vail. But the FIS said only one person is allowed on the race piste at a time. The OeSV will work with the FIS to change the rules to allow more creativity during races.
BB: I'm sure that you will find a way to get maximum artistry and originality points in races this season. Your trainers and choreographers are the best and should be able to overcome the lack of Austrian artistry judges this season.
Franz: We hope so.
BB: And if the FIS does not allow your two person acrobatic moves, you can always join a circus. Well, it looks like we are out of time. Marcel and Max, I want to thank you for this interview and wish both of you a successful 2014/15 season. And that concludes another Boston Blickbild exclusive interview.  
The Boston Blickbild. Our motto is: The only circus that we are part of is the media circus. 
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