Thursday, April 9, 2015

Lindsey Vonn's New Foundation

A Boston Blickbild Exclusive

Just after the Vail World Championships, Lindsey Vonn announced that she was starting a foundation to empower girls to make good choices in life and become part of a community. What a worthy cause! We were so impressed by what Ms. Vonn wants to do, we sent one of our intrepid reporters to Vail to interview her. She was not available. Somehow she doesn't like speaking to us anymore. But our heroic reporter didn't give up and was able to score an interview with Lindsey's sister, Laura Kildow, who is also a board member of the Lindsey Vonn Foundation. Let's find out what she has to say.

BB: Hello Laura. It's nice to see you again.
Kildow: It's nice to see you too. I hope that I can help explain all of the good work that Lindsey's foundation is going to do. 
BB: I'm sure you can. I noticed that the foundation's money will go toward girls. 
Kildow: Yes, that's right. We want to empower girls and give them the tools to succeed in life.
BB: That's a very noble cause. Every parent who has daughters wants them to become successful. But don't you think that Lindsey's foundation is sexist and discriminatory?
Kildow: No!  How could you possibly think that?
BB: Well, you are excluding half of the population. Don't you think that boys should also be given the chance to be empowered to make good life choices?
Kildow: I guess so. 
BB: Didn't the men on the foundation's board have anything to say about boys not being included?
Kildow: They did. But Lindsey doesn't want any money going to her future competition.
BB: Future competition?
Kildow: Yes. The FIS may have ruled that Lindsey can't race against men now, but they could change their minds later. If she gives money to boys, they might end up beating her in a ski race. You can't even imagine how that could destroy Lindsey's image. 
BB: I bet I could. Anyway, Lindsey's foundation will help girls make good choices in life. Why don't you give me an example of a wise choice that it will help girls to make.
Kildow: Suppose you're driving from Austria to Slovenia on one of those narrow European roads that doesn't have any signs on it. The road ends and you have to decide to go left or right to get to Slovenia and your GPS doesn't work. What would you do? If you were helped by Lindsey's foundation, you would be able to make the correct turn and thus make a good choice. 
BB: I remember you writing in your blog about how difficult it is to drive in Europe. Do you still feel that way?
Kildow: Yes. I never understood how Europeans can drive on their roads. And they can do it without relying on GPS, which I just don't get at all. I would be totally lost without one.
BB: And yet Napoleon and his troops found their way from France to Russia without a GPS system. (short pause) Do you still aspire to be a writer?
Kildow: I do. I would love to write a book about my experience traveling to World Cup races with my sister. After I write my book, I want to work for a place like the Blickbild. 
BB: Do you know what one of the things is that we at the Blickbild do to test a prospective reporter's intrepidness?
Kildow: No. 
BB: Remember, our reporters are the most intrepid in the business. They went to the Congo even when they knew that four of their colleagues never returned from trying to bring Dr. Mabongo to Germany. They have eaten ojlmsfjaegger and sursrtoemming. They have all passed this one test. Do you want to know what it is?
Kildow: Yes. If I pass it, do you think I could become a Blickbild reporter?
BB: Yes, but this test is a very tough one. We wanted to design our own obstacle course, but the Italians have made a natural one. In order to prove his or her intrepidness, a prospective Blickbild reporter or researcher must start at a beach in Tuscany, drive through a city, and then drive on a narrow mountain road. There will be pedestrians and mopeds to dodge, cyclists to go around while cars and trucks are coming at you from the opposite direction, and people opening their car doors without looking as you pass by. If you can make this drive without flinching, and the car is still in one piece, you will pass that particular test. 
Kildow: Wow! That is a tough test. But aren't the pedestrians in the zebra crossings?
BB: They are. But stopping for pedestrians in a zebra crossing is for wimps. You are judged on your ability to go around them. 
Kildow: That is why driving in Europe is so hard. The other drivers are all crazy!
BB: It doesn't seem like you are Blickbild material at all with thoughts like that. The original test was to drive through Prague in a car that doesn't have Czech license plates. But the only challenge in that was not being stopped by the police. We needed a challenge that would make mere mortals wet their pants and separate the intrepid ones from the sissies. 
Kildow: Maybe I really would not make a good Blickbild reporter now. But I could work for one of the others until I get more experience driving in Europe.
BB: Yes you could. I'm sure that you would make a very able journalist for one of the others. Do you think that Lindsey's  foundation would help any girls who want to come and work for us when they grow up?
Kildow: If that's what they want to do in life, we could empower them to achieve that dream. 
BB: So you would give girls the money to develop their intrepidness?
Kildow: Yes. If that is the life choice that would empower them to succeed, we would support it. By the way, do you think that I could ever work for the Blickbild after I felt better about driving in Europe?
BB: You'd have to pass all of our tests, which are among the most difficult in the business. 
(short pause) Now suppose that the Blickbild wants to start a foundation to help boys and girls develop intrepidness, do you think that it would conflict with Lindsey's foundation?
Kildow: Uh....I don't think so.
BB: What about a foundation to help children learn about geography? Part of being a Blickbild reporter or researcher is knowing geography. We have to know how to get to Slovenia without ending up in South Africa or Slovakia. In other words, kids should be empowered to figure out how to get to where they want to go. Don't you think so?
Kildow: I guess you could start a foundation to teach people about geography. If people make the right choices, then they will end up in the right place. But that is what Lindsey's foundation is all about--empowering girls to make good choices so that they end up in the right place. 
BB: I don't think I could have summed up the purpose of Lindsey's foundation any better than you just did.  Don't worry, we won't be establishing a foundation to teach people to be intrepid or to find places on a map. You either have what it takes to work for the Blickbild or you don't. 
Kildow: Just like you are either a girl who could benefit from Lindsey's foundation or someone who will forever make poor choices in life and end up living in a place that's far from a ski hill. 
BB: I never thought of it that way, but you are right. Well, it looks like we are out of time. I want to thank you for this interview and for the information about Lindsey's foundation. I'm sure that after this story is published, donations to it will soar. And that concludes another Boston Blickbild exclusive interview. 

The Boston Blickbild. Our motto is: Our reporters made the right choice coming to work for us. And they did it without any foundation money to empower them. Oh, they can also find their way to Slovenia without a GPS system. 

The Boston Blickbild is on Facebook. If you enjoy our unique perspective on World Cup Alpine skiing, please like us on Facebook. We are also on Twitter as bostonblickbild. 

No comments: