Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Relationship Advice From Benni and Marlies

A Boston Blickbild Exclusive

It's true. Aksel Lund Svindal and Julia Mancuso have gone their separate ways and the ski world is in shock. This is normally a story that we would avoid like a nest of rattlesnakes because the others have already reported it. But the Blickbild has its own unique perspective on Aksel and Julia. Austrian racers Benjamin Raich and Marlies Schild were ski racing's "in couple" before Aksel and Julia took over that spot. Now that Aksel and Julia are no longer a pair, Benni and Marlies have resumed their rightful place. One of our intrepid reporters was able to talk to Benni and Marlies about their relationship and their opinion about what happened between Aksel and Julia. They also have advice on how to maintain a good relationship.  Let's find out what they have to say.

BB: Benni, you will be going for your 4th Olympics in Sochi and Marlies will be going for her 3rd. What are you looking forward to most in Sochi?
Raich: I would like to win a medal in what will probably be my last Olympics. If I don't win a medal, I want to go out knowing that I did my best.
Schild: I would of course like a medal in Sochi. But I will do my best and see what happens.
BB: You were Alpine skiing's power couple until Aksel and Julia got together. Then you became passe. But now you are the reigning power couple again. What is your secret?
Schild: We have always been there for each other. It is also easier for us than it was for Aksel and Julia because we live in the same country. Austria is a small country, so it is easy to see each other in our down time.
BB: How long have you been together?
Raich: People like to think that we have been together since dinosaurs roamed the earth. But it just seems that way.
Schild: What?!?
Raich: What I mean is I wish we could have been together since the days of the dinosaurs because I love Marlies so much.
BB: Good save. (short pause) Can you take a guess why Aksel and Julia broke up?
Schild: That's really their private business. They did what they felt was best for themselves.
BB: Our intrepid research team found out that Aksel constantly forgot to put the toilet seat down. 
Schild: Benni used to always leave the toilet seat up too. But after a while I realized that he's a man and has a biological need to leave it up. We worked out a good system for ourselves. On Tuesdays and Thursdays Benni can leave the seat up all he wants to. But on the other days he has to put it down.
BB: Do you think that Aksel and Julia would still be together if they followed that system?
Raich: Possibly. It took a little adjustment, especially when I'm traveling with the team and am used to leaving the seat up every day.
BB: Do you think that toilet paper should go in front of the roll or behind?
Raich: Definitely behind.
Schild: In front and over.
BB: Oh oh! I don't want to start an argument.
Raich: We have worked out a solution to how the toilet paper goes. On even numbered days we put the paper behind the roll and on odd numbered days it goes in front. It has even gotten to the point where I will switch the toilet paper around when I am in a hotel.
Schild: I do the same thing! The other ladies on the team think I'm a little bit crazy. But if it keeps Benni happy, I'll keep doing it.
BB: Do you think that Aksel and Julia would still be together if they switched the toilet paper?
Schild: I never heard anything from Julia about her toilet paper preferences or Aksel's. But it is possible that they would still be together if they switched the toilet paper around.
BB: Our intrepid research team also found out that Julia gave Aksel store-bought ojlmsfjaegger on his last birthday instead of making it herself. 
Raich: She didn't!
BB: Yes, it's true. 
Raich: No wonder they broke up. Marlies would make those things for me by herself and would never buy them in a store.
Schild: Well, I would never make them because they sound awful. Who in their right mind eats a concoction of reindeer parts, salmon, and chocolate?
BB: Norwegians. Ojlmsfjaegger are a beloved birthday treat in Norway. 
Raich: But if you were Norwegian, you would make them for me.
Schild: I suppose so. I always bake your birthday cakes from scratch and never use a mix.
BB: Do you think that is the real reason behind Aksel and Julia's breakup?
Raich: That must be it. In a way I can understand how that could cause a breakup. Marlies makes her Wiener Schnitzel different than how my mother makes it. My mother makes the world's best Wiener Schnitzel. I even asked Marlies to ask Mum for her schnitzel recipe, but Marlies wanted to carry on making it her own way.
Schild: Are you saying after all these years that you don't like my Wiener Schnitzel?
Raich: Not at all, sweetheart. Yours is delicious and I always enjoy it. I get my fix of Mum's schnitzel when we visit her. But I will always take you and your schnitzel over Mum and hers.
BB: Benni, you saved yourself again. (pause) When you feel that the time is right for having children, do you want them to grow up to be ski racers?
Schild: What a silly question! Of course we do. We are Austrian after all.
BB: Do you feel that your kids would feel more pressure than the average Austrian ski racer because their parents are two of the all-time greats? It would be hard to measure up to parents who have 24 Olympic and World Championship medals and 14 Crystal Globes between them. 
Schild: Our kids will be born with little ski boots on their feet and wearing Austrian speed suits.  I'm sure they will be great in their own right.
BB: Your kids could be on the same team as Hermann Maier's daughters if the timing was right.
Raich: That would be cool! The next generation of Maiers and Raichs or Schilds together on the Austrian team would be awesome.
BB: As a long-time couple, are there any final words of advice you can give to those who are starting out in a new relationship or marriage?
Schild: Yes. Realize that a man has certain biological urges and just has to leave the toilet seat up. If you let him have his special days where he can leave the seat up, everything will be fine.
Raich: If you have different preferences regarding how the toilet paper should be hung, find a good compromise.
Schild: Make your special man's birthday cakes from scratch and never from a mix. And don't give him those weird Norwegian reindeer organ things unless he is Norwegian. Make them by yourself and don't buy them in a store. You see what happened to Aksel and Julia when she bought them instead of making them.
Raich: Always choose your sweetheart's schnitzel over your mother's, even if you think that your mother's is better.
BB: That is great advice. I'm sure that if Aksel and Julia took it at the beginning of their relationship, things might have worked out differently for them. (short pause) I want to wish you both a healthy and successful season and good luck in Sochi.
Raich: Thank you.
Schild: Thank you.
BB: And that concludes another Boston Blickbild exclusive interview. 

The Boston Blickbild. Our motto is: We never realized that toilet seats and paper could be relationship deal breakers.

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