Saturday, October 8, 2016

Book Review

A Boston Blickbild Exclusive

Lindsey Vonn's book was just released and she is currently touring the USA to promote it. The others have written about her book, so we would normally avoid this subject like we would sulfur fumes. But people are buying her book, so we have no choice but to do a review with our unique spin. Unfortunately, Lindsey was not available because of her book tour calendar. But one of our intrepid reporters got the second best person to interview--Lindey's sister Laura Kildow, who is also an aspiring writer. Let's find out what she has to say.

BB: It looks like Lindsey's book is going to be a success. However, we noticed that you were not the ghost writer of her book.
Kildow: You are the first person to notice and mention that.
BB: Our reporters are not only intrepid, they are incredibly observant.
Kildow: I can see that. Hey, I am observant too.
BB: So you are. You have a goal to be a writer, yet your sister did not let you ghost write her book. Tell our readers how you feel about that.
Kildow: I'm glad that someone noticed. I would have thought that Lindsey would have made her book a family affair. After all, I wrote a nice blog that she shared on her Facebook page. I'm good enough to write a blog but not good enough to ghost write my sister's book. Is that what she thinks? If she thinks that I will share anymore of my blog posts with her, she is wrong!
BB: I can understand why you feel that way. Your blog post about the hospital in Schladming where Lindsey went after her injury at the World Championships still makes me want to avoid Austrian hospitals. And your descriptions of driving in Europe would scare anyone who never drove there before. 
Kildow: That is so kind of you to notice. You seem to be a sensitive person.
BB: Yes we Blickbild reporters are not only intrepid and observant, we are also sensitive. Onto the book itself. What did you think of it?
Kildow: Even though I did not ghost write it, I read it anyway. It was very good and any young woman reading it will no longer be ashamed of her body. Our bodies are all beautiful, especially when we eat right and exercise. We can become powerful and strong but still be beautiful. That is the message that Lindsey is trying to give girls and young women.
BB: Are you sure we read the same book? From what I read, she tells girls and women that they should not feel self-conscious about their bodies and should feel good about themselves. 
Kildow: That is true.
BB: But on the other hand, she is giving her target audience mixed messages. First she tells them to feel good about themselves, no matter how they look. But she has quite a few photos of herself wearing very little clothing. Someone reading the book will see Lindsey and feel even worse about herself because she knows she could never look like her. It's like a little girl playing with a Barbie doll and realizing that she will never have a body like Barbie's. 
Kildow: Did you really read the book?
BB: OK, I confess.  I only read an excerpt from it, which happened to contain quite a few photos of a scantily-clad Lindsey. Are you sure that girls are the target audience and not teenage boys and middle-aged perverts?
Kildow: Yes. Why would teenage boys and old men want to buy a book that talks about empowering women? You'd think that they would avoid something to help women become stronger and more beautiful.
BB: You would think so, but I'm just saying that a lot of men will buy Lindsey's book and not for the fitness tips. 
Kildow: You really think so?
BB: Yes. We Blickbild reporters are intrepid, observant, sensitive, and psychic.
Kildow: Now I understand why I was never hired by the Blickbild. I don't have all of those qualities. Being a good writer is not enough for you. Maybe I should give up writing and look for a different career.
BB: Let's move onto one more topic. Lindsey gave a recent interview in which she said that skiers and snowboarders should have their separate ski areas. What do you think of that?
Kildow: I think it's a good idea. Snowboarders sit in the middle of the run and block everyone else. They also put big ruts in the ski runs. Lindsey has a good point about keeping them separate.
BB: When was the last time that Lindsey skied on a public slope with everyone else? World Cup racers train early in the morning before the ski hill opens. The runs that they train on are also closed to the general public. 
Kildow: But it is still a good idea to keep them separate.
BB: I'm going to take your argument further. Let's suppose that you have a married couple where the husband is a boarder and the wife is a skier. Are you proposing that they must go on separate holidays?
Kildow: They would have to if there are certain resorts for skiers and others just for snowboarders. Maybe they should have realized that they would have to go to separate places before they got married. They should not wait until after the wedding to find out that they can't take vacations together.
BB: Ooooh, that is harsh! What about parents who are boarders but have young children who ski? The kids are too young to be alone on a different mountain than their parent.
Kildow: Maybe their kids should have become boarders. You really have to think about those issues
before having children.
BB: I think I found your perfect career--marriage and family counselor. (short pause) What about a person who both skis and boards?
Kildow: You mean like that Czech lady?
BB: Ester Ledecka. OK, imagine that Ester Ledecka is out with her friends and brings both skis and a snowboard. She wants to take a few ski runs and then switch to her snowboard. Would she have to ski, drive to a different hill, board, drive back to the first hill, ski, drive back to the second hill, board, and keep repeating this process all day?
Kildow: That sounds like a big hassle. But maybe she should pick one sport and stick with it.
BB: Let's take this even further. We have skiers and snowboarders separated from each other. Would you or Lindsey really want to be responsible for families being torn apart because they love different snow sports and can't participate in them in the same location?
Kildow: They are making the choice of sports. It is not my fault, or Lindsey's, if families are torn apart because some members like to ski and others like to snowboard.
BB: What about separating skiers by religion or nationality? Should the Catholic skiers have a separate hill from the Jewish, Protestant, or Buddhist ones? 
Kildow: I think you are taking this too far.
BB: I don't think so. First it starts out separating skiers and snowboarders. Next everyone is  separated by skin color, nationality, religion, color of their ski clothes, and whether they wear one-piece suits or separate pants and jacket. In five years everyone will have his or her own private ski or boarding mountain because we don't want those with green jackets mixing with those in black jackets. 
Kildow: Do you really think all that could happen from separating skiers and snowboarders?
BB: Oh yes. Maybe not in the next five years, but I can see it happening in our lifetimes. Now how do you feel about separating skiers and snowboarders?
Kildow: Maybe it is not such a good idea after all.
BB: Now you see the light. Everyone should all get along. Well, it looks like we are out of time. I want to thank you for another interesting chat. Maybe one day your powers of observation will help land you a job with us or as a family counselor.  And that concludes another Boston Blickbild exclusive interview. 

The Boston Blickbild. Our motto is: Our reporters are not trustworthy, loyal, helpful,  friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and reverent because they are not Boy Scouts. But they are intrepid, observant, sensitive, and have psychic powers.

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